My dad just emailed me this huge list of puns oh my god
- I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
- When chemists die, they barium.
- Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
- I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
- This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
- I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
- I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
- They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
- We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
- Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
- Broken pencils are pointless.
- I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
- I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
- All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
- I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
- Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
- A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
- The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
- Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
Notes
-
itsthursdayiminlove likes this
-
thenilloweitalltoyou reblogged this from rileyvaliant
-
rileyvaliant reblogged this from yougottabekeatingme
-
humorandotherdrugs likes this
-
coolcrazycoffeecat reblogged this from the-hairspray-queen
-
mydadwearssneakersinthepool reblogged this from tamesbonerism
-
dowhatyoupreachmothafuckaa reblogged this from ihamgod
-
idegcsiga likes this
-
gumidomino reblogged this from tamesbonerism
-
gothipop likes this
-
babe-park-music likes this
-
dragonhatgirl likes this
-
loguana reblogged this from the-hairspray-queen
-
loguana likes this
-
lifeinsideyourheart reblogged this from tamesbonerism
-
catsinacradle reblogged this from tamesbonerism
-
kim-kellyismyfriend reblogged this from tamesbonerism
-
eecstaticbliss likes this
-
tamesbonerism likes this
-
tamesbonerism reblogged this from jerrycanttell
-
yougottabekeatingme reblogged this from ihamgod
-
krooke-d likes this
-
ihamgod reblogged this from jerrycanttell
-
sexconevanpeters likes this
-
100percentnrrrd reblogged this from grandiloquences
-
100percentnrrrd likes this
-
weare-magicians likes this
-
parkwayride likes this
-
une-petitemort likes this
-
grandiloquences reblogged this from the-hairspray-queen
-
the-skinny-hero-guy reblogged this from brainwashedsociety
-
brainwashedsociety reblogged this from jerrycanttell
-
brainwashedsociety likes this
-
jerrycanttell reblogged this from the-hairspray-queen
-
jerrycanttell likes this
-
the-hairspray-queen reblogged this from phineas4cobain
-
dnm-ing likes this
-
emi-case likes this
-
emi-case reblogged this from alexandrabarton
-
partycloudy likes this
-
some-fancy-url likes this
-
thoughtsrunyourlife reblogged this from wondderstruckk
-
sungypsyy likes this
-
alexandrabarton reblogged this from amusedinterwebber
-
good--night-kisses likes this
-
booksarebetterthanreality likes this
-
booksarebetterthanreality reblogged this from buckyjbbarnes
-
whydothesethingshavetohappentome likes this
-
whydothesethingshavetohappentome reblogged this from wondderstruckk
-
eyes-to-hear-ears-too-see likes this
- Show more notes
